A Thumbs Down for the Newest Season of What Used to be MTV's Money-Making Powerhouse

Tonight was the SEASON (not series) finale of The Hills. With no signs of Metherella it could only be so entertaining.
Brody decides he and Jayde can be no more, while Spencer finally caves in and says if Heidi wants a child, he wants to have a child.
Kristin and Justin-Bobby decide to give a try while Audrina is left alone on some pier.

What is this? Where are the fights? The emotional music set to tearful a rendezvous at a posh L.A. night club? Where are the memorable quotes: "You know what you did!" "I forgive you, and I want to forget you."
Oh yeah... they all left with Lauren Conrad. On the Aftershow, Kristin let's us know there will be another season of The Hills and if MTV hopes to turn this show back into the powerhouse it was three years ago they may have to give Lauren Conrad an offer she can't refuse.

If there is a God, "The Hills" will fit this into the show

Irony, anyone? On the scenes for this weeks The Hills Stephanie Pratt, Metherella, tells Heidi her sister Holly, "really needs help." Oh Metherella I hope you're eating your words now (or eating something, please). Perez Hilton is reporting that Stephanie has landed in jail on DUI charges. A rehab veteran, Stephanie may need to make another trip.
PLEASE, Adam DiVello, include this in the show!!!

Season 5, Part 2?

I couldn't help but noticed during a commercial break the ad for Season 5 of The Hills on DVD. The interesting part is, it's being billed as Season 5 Part 1. So this is Part 2 then? Is MTV not confident enough to make this a season of it's own?

Anyways. So finally a more believable storyline--Kristin and Brody. God I hope this happens. Makes me reminiscent of the good ole days with K-Cav, LC, and Stephen back in Laguna. Hopefully Kristin will ditch Justin-Bobby (or ugh Justin-Tubby, he's gained some since those days of being the lean, hairy hipster). Good to see some of the cast is losing weight... but does it really count if it all goes into your lips, Metherella?
And why is it the previews for next week's episode always seem more exciting than anything on the episodes?
WE MISS LAUREN!

The Good, The Bad, and The Stephanie...

Well let's see. Same opening song. Similar opening in general. But not the same. What I liked: Well the upcoming episodes look interesting, now that Kristin ditches Justin-Bobby and tries to go for Brody.
What I don't like... and there's a lot of it.
No Lauren Conrad means there shouldn't be any Lo. She's pointless now. She was there for Lauren. Now she's randomly BFFs with Stephanie and Audrina? What? Didn't Audrina and Lo have a falling out? And now they're also BFFs with Heidi? HUH? Was Lo ever friends with her? Speaking of Speidi, the duo is kinda obsolete now too. Who cares that they're house shopping and talking about babies? Their role was to hate Lauren Conrad. And even though Stephanie is taking up more airtime, at least they didn't bill Metherella in the intro. Thank God.
Spills still misses Lauren though. They try to keep the same intro but added in Kristin. It was kind of sad. Her narrating skills will never reach those of Lauren's... though he husky voice does make me think of the Bearded Conrad.

Jessi and Dan are back with the B*tch!

The After Show! All about Kristin! Jessi and Dan are back! I love these two, they don't take it seriously and are hilarious. They talk to Lo about Kristin and Laguna Beach days and then to Frankie and then to Kristin herself.

Uh oh...

So I understand the picture with the Bar Bitch, but umm what's with the Brody picture? I can't imagine Jayde being too keen on that picture, especially with her reaction to Audrina and Brody last season. Watch out Kristin, "playmates always bring the drama."

Wait, what?

Kristin v. Lauren
I'm sorry, but didn't Lauren leave The Hills? Why are they even being compared?
We all know The Hills is a far cry from reality, but in a show that still bills itself as so, how do they explain her just dropping off? Especially when Conrad's BFFL, Lo Bosworth, is still going to make appearances on the show (she could even be billed as an official cast member in opening credits). If they really want a new start, ditch the Bearded Lady and stick with the B*tch.
Here's some more pics of the gals at Sunday night's VMAs.

PS--Lay off the bronzer Conrad! Keep it natural, like your "successor."

Meth-head bashes Perez Hilton

Ok, I'm not the biggest Perez Hilton fan, but um wow?
Sadly I follow him on Twitter (oh lord right?). Apparently Perez had his laptop out and was taking a few notes during tonight's VMAs. This didn't sit well with California's own little piece of the Jersey Turnpike, Stephanie Pratt. The Crackpipe tweets: "Ok @perezhilton u piece of dog shit get a life and get off ur computer u FUCKING LOSER. I would rather rather die than be you. Fuck off"
WOW! Hostility! She goes to say: "Oh ps I enjoyed looking 5 rows back and seeing perez hiltons un-button shirt showing off his fat rolls. Yep one more time... Fuck u perez"
So what set her off? Smoke some bad stuff, Steph? Nope. Apparently Metherella had a bit too much to drink causing Perez to tweet: "Stephanie Pratt is so wasted! She's probably seconds away from barfing on her lap. She's also had too much work done!"
Now Perez may not be the nicest homo out there, but he can make or break people, Steph! Luckily Steph, you won't have to worry, you have nothing for him to make or break! Well aside from your pipe.

Here are the links to their Twitters...
http://twitter.com/PerezHilton
http://twitter.com/stephaniepratt

Audriana v. Cavallari

Oh the "drama." So Perez Hilton reports that Audrina Patridge, the brown-haired ho dropped out as a presenter at tonight's VMAs because she learned she'd be presenting with The Hills newcomer, Kristin Cavallari. Apparently the two don't get along and I'm guessing it has something to do with Kristin making whoopie with Justin-Bobby.

The Hills - MTV Shows

Oh great and Heidi wants to reproduce. And what's with Kristin and that slutty bar b*tch becoming friends? Can't MTV just ask Kristin to invite one of her real friends to be on the show? Oh wait, she doesn't have any.

And Kristin! Really? JB? Honestly? Justin-Bobby needs a quick shave among other things. And after he's done with a few of those razors he can give a handful to the Bearded Conrad.

The B*TCH is Back!

The B*TCH is Back! Tuesday, September 29th at 10pm!
Kristin Cavallari joins The Hills cast for season 6! Kristin Cavallari starred alongside Lauren Conrad on MTV's Laguna Beach. Fans of the show got to see Cavallari on The Hills fifth season finale where the Laguna Beach High alum showed up at Heidi and Spencer's wedding.

I'm excited to have her join the cast, but I'd prefer Lauren to be on too! "Beef Curtains," however decided to step down when the time was right--which to me sounds like a thinly veiled cover-up for "she was kicked off the show because her boyfriend can't be filmed due to conflicting contracts."

The Hills - MTV Shows

Hopefully the show will find some balance with a b*tch-filled cast.