Next season wishlist!

Since it's almost Christmas, I decided I'd make a wishlist for the next season of The Hills

After the snooze-fest that MTV is trying to play off as the "Bitch-is-back" season of The Hills I have begun to wonder what I want the next season of the show to contain.
First things first, the most obvious thing that will happen next season is that Brody Jenner and his lovely Playmate will NOT be breaking up. On this season's finale, Brody made it seem like the two would be over, but any tweeter can see that the two are still together (Follow Brody and Jayde on Twitter!). So much for Kristin and Brody.
Second, we want Kristin and Justin-Bobby to break up. We all know it's an act, they don't even seem that interested in each other. Kristin can do much better *coughBrodycough*.
Audrina has to do something. All she did this season was bitch about Justin-Bobby. Oh wait, that's all she ever did...
Lo has to get a boyfriend, start a fight, or just leave. We don't buy it that you're Audrina's friend. Or Stephanie's friend. Or ANY of these people's friend. Ok, I get it, you're the new Whitney. Your job is to ask people about their problems so the editors can cue some emotional music and have those awkward silences and stares that have made The Hills so popular.
Metherella has to come back as a raging alcoholic and her and Holly Montag have to drunkenly hook up.
Heidi and Spencer have to get pregnant. With octoplets. And they all have to get a cover on OK! magazine.

And last but not least, they have to bring Lauren Conrad back. The only reason Kristin ever worked before was because of her and Lauren's feud. They have to bring it back. Let them fight over Brody or better yet give Stephen a call, because lord knows that boy hasn't done shit since MTV pulled TRL.

A Thumbs Down for the Newest Season of What Used to be MTV's Money-Making Powerhouse

Tonight was the SEASON (not series) finale of The Hills. With no signs of Metherella it could only be so entertaining.
Brody decides he and Jayde can be no more, while Spencer finally caves in and says if Heidi wants a child, he wants to have a child.
Kristin and Justin-Bobby decide to give a try while Audrina is left alone on some pier.

What is this? Where are the fights? The emotional music set to tearful a rendezvous at a posh L.A. night club? Where are the memorable quotes: "You know what you did!" "I forgive you, and I want to forget you."
Oh yeah... they all left with Lauren Conrad. On the Aftershow, Kristin let's us know there will be another season of The Hills and if MTV hopes to turn this show back into the powerhouse it was three years ago they may have to give Lauren Conrad an offer she can't refuse.

Snip Snip...

So on the latest episode of The Hills Spence decides to nip it in the balls-he goes to get a vasectomy. Is The Hills really that desperate? Vasectomies now? Really?
But aside from that one sour note, the episode was free of Metherella!!
DUDrina and Justin-Bobby has a nice little date together during which he basically told her it's over. Boo hoo, no more greasey hair and days without showering. If I were Audrina I'd celebrate!
Meanwhile, Kristin and Brody go clubbin' together only to meet a fistful of Jayde's fury! The drunken sl*t (which one!? I kid, I kid) goes loco on Kristin. Guess there wasn't a full bottle of Jager handy to subdue her...

Money makes the world go around...

So Perez Hilton is reporting that salaries for The Hills cast members have leaked. Here's how it breaks down...
Lauren Conrad was making $125,000 per episode. Not bad, not bad. What the hell is she going to do now, aside from Kohl's?
Audrina Patridge brings in $100,000 per episode, while Heidi is making close to $100,000. Excuse me? Why the F*CK is that girl making more than Heidi? We all know he story is just filler anyway. Well I guess maybe now with Kristin and JB's possible "fling" Audrina could have more of a role. Still. As for Spencer and Brody, they make $65,000 and $45,000 thousand respectively.

Uh oh...

So I understand the picture with the Bar Bitch, but umm what's with the Brody picture? I can't imagine Jayde being too keen on that picture, especially with her reaction to Audrina and Brody last season. Watch out Kristin, "playmates always bring the drama."