Next season wishlist!

Since it's almost Christmas, I decided I'd make a wishlist for the next season of The Hills

After the snooze-fest that MTV is trying to play off as the "Bitch-is-back" season of The Hills I have begun to wonder what I want the next season of the show to contain.
First things first, the most obvious thing that will happen next season is that Brody Jenner and his lovely Playmate will NOT be breaking up. On this season's finale, Brody made it seem like the two would be over, but any tweeter can see that the two are still together (Follow Brody and Jayde on Twitter!). So much for Kristin and Brody.
Second, we want Kristin and Justin-Bobby to break up. We all know it's an act, they don't even seem that interested in each other. Kristin can do much better *coughBrodycough*.
Audrina has to do something. All she did this season was bitch about Justin-Bobby. Oh wait, that's all she ever did...
Lo has to get a boyfriend, start a fight, or just leave. We don't buy it that you're Audrina's friend. Or Stephanie's friend. Or ANY of these people's friend. Ok, I get it, you're the new Whitney. Your job is to ask people about their problems so the editors can cue some emotional music and have those awkward silences and stares that have made The Hills so popular.
Metherella has to come back as a raging alcoholic and her and Holly Montag have to drunkenly hook up.
Heidi and Spencer have to get pregnant. With octoplets. And they all have to get a cover on OK! magazine.

And last but not least, they have to bring Lauren Conrad back. The only reason Kristin ever worked before was because of her and Lauren's feud. They have to bring it back. Let them fight over Brody or better yet give Stephen a call, because lord knows that boy hasn't done shit since MTV pulled TRL.

"I just want you to be happy"

Ah, the fateful words of a young Miss Kristin Cavallari. I'm sure she said the same thing to her childhood friend Jessica before "hooking up" with her crush (oh we all remember that episode of Laguna Beach)
Ah the return of Speidi's shrink! Did you see the look on that poor psychiatrist's face when Heidi suggested she trick Spencer and go off her birth control? It's so fun when The Hills let's REAL real people on the show.
On a more serious note... I find it somewhat hypocritical of Brody to get so defensive when his fellow bros tell him the Crazy Pin-Up Bitch has changed him. Isn't this what happened with Spencer and Brody when Heidi came into the picture?

So tonight's main event: Slutty Bitch versus Crazy Pin-Up Bitch sit down for a nice classy conversation at some posh restaurant. Unfortunately there isn't much to report... Jayde calls Kristin a slut, Kristin calls Jayde a crazy bitch. Do these girls not watch their own show?

And are Heidi and Audrina really friends now? Audrina swears off Justin-Bobby and Heidi swears off the pill! Brody then swears off life if he and Jayde every fight again! The Bro tells the Pin-Up he'll jump off a building if the two fight again... guess we know Mr. Jenner's run on the show is coming to an end...


And where has Metherella run off to? And the sad thing is, has anyone noticed?

Jessi and Dan are back with the B*tch!

The After Show! All about Kristin! Jessi and Dan are back! I love these two, they don't take it seriously and are hilarious. They talk to Lo about Kristin and Laguna Beach days and then to Frankie and then to Kristin herself.

Audriana v. Cavallari

Oh the "drama." So Perez Hilton reports that Audrina Patridge, the brown-haired ho dropped out as a presenter at tonight's VMAs because she learned she'd be presenting with The Hills newcomer, Kristin Cavallari. Apparently the two don't get along and I'm guessing it has something to do with Kristin making whoopie with Justin-Bobby.

The Hills - MTV Shows

Oh great and Heidi wants to reproduce. And what's with Kristin and that slutty bar b*tch becoming friends? Can't MTV just ask Kristin to invite one of her real friends to be on the show? Oh wait, she doesn't have any.

And Kristin! Really? JB? Honestly? Justin-Bobby needs a quick shave among other things. And after he's done with a few of those razors he can give a handful to the Bearded Conrad.

The B*TCH is Back!

The B*TCH is Back! Tuesday, September 29th at 10pm!
Kristin Cavallari joins The Hills cast for season 6! Kristin Cavallari starred alongside Lauren Conrad on MTV's Laguna Beach. Fans of the show got to see Cavallari on The Hills fifth season finale where the Laguna Beach High alum showed up at Heidi and Spencer's wedding.

I'm excited to have her join the cast, but I'd prefer Lauren to be on too! "Beef Curtains," however decided to step down when the time was right--which to me sounds like a thinly veiled cover-up for "she was kicked off the show because her boyfriend can't be filmed due to conflicting contracts."

The Hills - MTV Shows

Hopefully the show will find some balance with a b*tch-filled cast.