Next season wishlist!

Since it's almost Christmas, I decided I'd make a wishlist for the next season of The Hills

After the snooze-fest that MTV is trying to play off as the "Bitch-is-back" season of The Hills I have begun to wonder what I want the next season of the show to contain.
First things first, the most obvious thing that will happen next season is that Brody Jenner and his lovely Playmate will NOT be breaking up. On this season's finale, Brody made it seem like the two would be over, but any tweeter can see that the two are still together (Follow Brody and Jayde on Twitter!). So much for Kristin and Brody.
Second, we want Kristin and Justin-Bobby to break up. We all know it's an act, they don't even seem that interested in each other. Kristin can do much better *coughBrodycough*.
Audrina has to do something. All she did this season was bitch about Justin-Bobby. Oh wait, that's all she ever did...
Lo has to get a boyfriend, start a fight, or just leave. We don't buy it that you're Audrina's friend. Or Stephanie's friend. Or ANY of these people's friend. Ok, I get it, you're the new Whitney. Your job is to ask people about their problems so the editors can cue some emotional music and have those awkward silences and stares that have made The Hills so popular.
Metherella has to come back as a raging alcoholic and her and Holly Montag have to drunkenly hook up.
Heidi and Spencer have to get pregnant. With octoplets. And they all have to get a cover on OK! magazine.

And last but not least, they have to bring Lauren Conrad back. The only reason Kristin ever worked before was because of her and Lauren's feud. They have to bring it back. Let them fight over Brody or better yet give Stephen a call, because lord knows that boy hasn't done shit since MTV pulled TRL.